I thought about calling it "My search for Enlightenment" but that sounded too high and mighty

So I've reached a tough point in my life lately. Which has been the inspiration for this project. Which of course won't work unless people reach out to it. And I seriously hope you do. I'm just not sure how to go about getting you to do that. I'm hoping to make it compelling and interesting. Let's start with my life, shall we?

One year ago, a little more than that, I was returning from Portland fresh out of film school. Portland isn't a great place to go for the film market, let's face it, but my old life was here and I wanted to be with my friends and family. But I wasn't sure about staying. Then I met The Girl. Last summer. And I fell in love with her. Hard. And after that, my life took a series of compromises that I didn't mind so much, because I was with her. I got my old job back as a manager at the movie theatre (which I hate), I moved in with her and we sat around and watched obscure british sitcoms and old movies together. And we were happy. For a while, at least.

She was working and going to school. Still is, and I started having severe problems with anxiety and a little with depression (still am). It became hard for me to rationalize my world because of all the irrationality in my head. And worst of all, I wasn't writing. And that made me feel terrible. Needless to say, we both became unhappy. I was a mess and she was trying so hard with her own life she didn't have time for me (sorry if I sound bitter, but I am).

So a few weeks ago I realized how unhappy she was and how unfair my irrationality was for her. So I offered her a way out. And she took it. I haven't really spoken to her a whole lot since, and it's made me pretty upset in a lot of ways. I really cared for her. I thought she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I'm getting a little older and she seemed so perfect. Long story short (or is it too late) I'm getting over it. I'm quitting my job and heading back to school to pursue a degree in something, ANYTHING, just to be educated and to be able to get out of this job and have financial aid pay for everything sounds great. So I'm counting down the days (not literally because I don't know my start date, but I'll find out on Thursday) until school starts!

I've also started seeing a psychiatrist for my anxiety, which is something that has bothered me since I was young. Like, really young. Probably forever. I'm on medication for it, which is something I never thought I'd do. But it seems to be helping. I'm at least writing again. Even if it is only about myself (I'm a little self-centered, what can I say?). Anyway, I have meds to help calm me down in the event of an anxiety attack or an anxious moment (which I'm taking daily, usually when I start work because that's when I'm most anxious), and I have a nightly one too.

So I'm not sure how to fix my life, or what needs to be fixed, but I'm at least changing it. I'm exchanging work for school and girlfriend for shrink. It's a little bit lonelier, but at least I have my computer again.

So I don't know if I've solved anything. I don't know if I'm on the path to doing anything more with my life other than delaying the inevitable of working some crappy corporate job paying off loans for the rest of my life, but at least I'm done for now. And as for the girlfriend, to hell with her if she can't stand the heat, she should've stayed out of the kitchen. I don't mean that, I'm more angry with myself over that for relying on someone who couldn't be there for me emotionally.

What are other people doing to reach out for bliss? In a world this seemingly corrupt, is it even possible?

Anyone else have a definition of bliss they'd like to share?

Comments extremely welcome and encouraged.